blind
by ruzek-halstead
Summary: "you lied to me and went behind my back with angela! you got kidnapped and you got shot and i thought i was going to lose you!" - prompt: jay is finally back to full duty but he can't get over angela and her kid. hailey finally snaps, utterly consumed by his selfishness of jumping in blind, getting hurt and tearing her heart apart in the process.


finally getting approved to go back to full duty was the best thing jay could hope for.

he was given some time on desk duty (as expected after such an injury), but once he got his sling officially removed, he was ready to go. there was nothing he hated more than being stuck behind a desk. potentially in another life, he had some sort of desk job that he really hated because there is no way in hell he can manage such a thing now. even when he is "stuck behind the desk," he's constantly walking around the bullpen (or in last week's case: annoying the hell out of sergeant platt with his hourly downstairs visits).

but he was finally back, ready to get back into action – and they didn't have a case yet.

voight hadn't come in yet either; something about a meeting with someone important. the team was catching up on all their paperwork at their desks, and that would have been fine, if jay hadn't had all of last week to do his.

jay could feel himself getting antsy, his leg bobbing up and down. he was finally approved to go back into the field and there wasn't anything to go into the field for. so when he got a message from one of his ci's asking to meet up, he was ecstatic.

he quietly stands up and grabs his jacket as to not disturb everyone diligently working on their paperwork. well, almost everyone—adam is in the break room, coffee in one hand and chatting away with kevin. jay stops by hailey's desk across from his own, taps it twice and whispers, "let's take a ride?"

hailey looks almost relieved as she pushes her paperwork further onto her desk and grabs her olive green bomber jacket resting on her chair. "where are we going?" she asks, watching as he grabs both of their radios before following her downstairs.

"a ci wants to meet," he shrugs. "hey sarge!" he greets sergeant platt on his way out.

platt openly glares at jay. "i have never been so happy to see you walking out that door."

jay smirks, "i'm offended."

he chuckles as they make their way over to their truck. "how much did you torture her last week?"

"honestly, it wasn't that bad," he defends himself, but hailey doesn't look impressed. "i had to talk to someone. it's not my fault platt isn't very social."

hailey nods, snickering. "sure, yeah."

jay can't deny that there was some awkwardness between hailey and him after he came back to work. he understands what he put her through as her partner, and he knows it couldn't have been easy. he noticed the bags under her eyes when he woke up in the hospital and even though she tried to hide it, he saw her red-rimmed eyes. he knows if anything happened to hailey, he would go out of his mind and he's put her through this one too many times. but things were slowly getting back to normal, back to their usual.

he didn't even realize where he was driving to until he saw the familiar park he's been spending a lot of his time at. he can't help but think of angela's son and how he was just ripped from his life with no explanation. he knew it was wrong but his heart bleeds for him.

"jay, what are we doing here?" hailey's voice is hard. she wasn't fond of him lying at the time—that's why she followed him in the first place, but coming back here, she just didn't understand.

neither did jay, to be honest. he can't say he hasn't thought about coming here again; he just wanted to make sure the boy was okay. but he wasn't planning to come here now. "i didn't mean to," he replies quietly but hailey is still glaring at him. "i know you said to let it go but i just can't, hailey, i can't."

"jay!" she yells and his gaze focuses on her. "angela shot you! you can't be involved anymore!"

"but the kid—"

he'd seen hailey at her highs and lows, and he's seen her angry, but it's rarely ever directed at him. this was new; she was pissed at him.

"i can't keep doing this with you, jay!" her hands fly into her hair, tugging on the ends. "i need some air, this is ridiculous," she mumbles, but jay hears her loud and clear.

jay's walls start to come up and this is it; he's officially agitated. "what the hell are you talking about, hailey?"

hailey's venomous stare in his direction is incredulous and she's opening the passenger door and hopping out in two seconds. jay swears, turns off the engine and follows her hotly. "hailey! what the hell? where are you going?"

"i said i needed air!" she snaps, a few feet ahead of him. she stops and seems to change her mind because she whirls around and marches right up to jay. "what the hell is wrong with you?" she yells, shoving his chest. "how can you be so selfish?" hailey's voice was full of emotion and her hands are trembling.

jay's expression is confused; he hasn't been called selfish very often. but he doesn't appreciate the verbal attack. "what are you talking about?" he shouts back.

hailey shoves his chest again and he's starting to get pissed off. "you do things without any thought of how it might affect others! honestly, how can you be so careless?"

jay's blue eyes flick up to stare into her fierce gaze. "i'm careless?" he snaps. "what about you?" hailey gears up with a retort on the tip of her tongue, but he beats her to it. "you risked your life and almost got infected with a deadly disease!"

"that was different!" she yells in response. "and you did the same damn thing! you were about to infect yourself for real!"

jay sighs loudly in frustration. "dammit hailey, what the hell is this about?"

he's looking into her eyes and hailey snaps. "you lied to me and went behind my back with angela! you got kidnapped and you got shot and i thought i was going to lose you!" she yells, eyes glistening. jay's chest stops heaving as his anger starts to simmer. "and you did this before when your father died! you just jumped right in with no backup and got shot again!"

hailey's hands found their way up into her hair again and she let out a small, incredulous laugh. "and now you're here again, back where this all started. you can't keep doing this to yourself!"

jay doesn't know what to say. he'd never seen hailey lose control like this, especially not over him.

"hailey, i'm sorry," he goes to set a hand on her upper arm, but she steps back, and he hopes she doesn't see the look of hurt flash across his face. he hadn't really thought about how his injury affected the team, but obviously it had. hailey could hardly look at him. "i didn't think—"

"you didn't think what, jay?" hailey is still agitated, but her voice breaks on his name and jay's heart skips a beat. he knows she won't cry in front of him, but she looks damn ready to. "you're my partner; i literally went out of my damn mind trying to find you and then after and now you're here again doing this all over? jay, i can't, i won't," she says, shoving her trembling hands into her jacket pocket.

she looks at him, slightly unbelieving that she blew up at him in a children's park, but it's done now. he's looking back at her like he wants to rewind and start this day over, but he can't.

"you're right, hailey," his anger had faded. "i shouldn't be here."

now that he was agreeing with her, she wasn't sure what to say. it was much easier when she was yelling at him. "i was so worried," she murmurs quietly. "you have to stop playing the hero. what if next time you're not so lucky?"

"i'm sorry, i just couldn't help myself," he admits truthfully. "but i get it. i have to be more careful. and consider everyone around me, everyone who cares," his eyes twinkle as he looks at her.

she fidgets with her sleeves. "i don't think you're selfish," she says, then adds, "you're the most honourable cop i know."

jay almost wants to laugh. they went from hailey calling jay selfish and careless, to nearly punching him in the face, and to calling him honourable.

"i would still follow you blind, you know that," she said softly. "but please, for the love of god, stop getting shot."

he laughs this time and hesitantly brings his arm closer to her; she doesn't flinch this time, so he wraps it around her shoulders. "i won't make any promises, given that we get shot at daily. but i can promise i won't go blind into stupid situations anymore."

hailey leans her head closer to his chest as they walk back to the truck. "if you do, just make sure you bring me along."

jay ignores his rapidly beating heart, even though he's pretty certain she can hear it. "i promise, partner."

* * *

**hope you guys liked this!**


End file.
